If my daughter had lived, she would be 30 years old. She died of a bowel obstruction caused by scoliosis almost 15 years ago. There were many health issues to deal with over the 15 years she resided on this earth, but I will never regret having her.
My number one priority from the time I knew I was pregnant with her was to keep her alive. As a diabetic, it was automatically a high-risk pregnancy, but I didn’t know that at the time. When I was diagnosed with diabetes six years before all they told me was, I wouldn’t be prevented from having healthy pregnancies and healthy babies.
However, after I became pregnant, I learned that might not be the case. My blood sugars were uncontrolled when I got pregnant, and I ended up in the hospital. Once I had a healthcare team in place, I started feeling better about our chances but we had a setback at five months. During one of the many ultrasounds, they found two holes in her heart.
I let doctors talk me into doing an amniocentesis to check for abnormalities and there were none that were revealed at that time. Fast forward a few months when she was born, she was normal in every way that mattered. She still had the two holes in her heart but the first couple of weeks went well. Almost a month later things changed dramatically when the cardiologist started her on heart medications. We did everything we could to get weight on her, but she would gain an ounce and then lose it again because she couldn’t keep food down no matter what we tried.
Heart medications seemed to make things worse so it was decided they would do heart surgery to repair her heart and see if that would help her. I had to change cardiologists to get this done because the one we had didn’t want to do anything else but medicate her. Surgery helped a little, but she still wasn’t gaining weight and progressing like she should. She was still having trouble sometimes keeping food down.
Then my husband died in an accident. Trisha’s failure to thrive took a back seat to our grief, unfortunately. It was another year before we took steps to find a definitive answer to her health problems.
To keep it simple, I will just say that she was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy because the official diagnosis is a footlong word that most have never heard of. She had a few more surgeries including putting in a feeding tube. We did get some weight on her, and some things were better. She wasn’t sick all the time with bronchitis and pneumonia.
Music was an important part of our day back then. From the time she was born, she could always be soothed with a Patsy Cline song. I would dance her to sleep when the rocking chair would not work.
During all the struggles with her health problems, she still brought so much joy and love to everyone who met her. When we went anywhere, someone would stop us because they wanted to talk to her. Sometimes she would reach out and grab at someone she wanted to talk to. She was a social butterfly and did not know a stranger. She had her own circle of friends. Even though she could not talk, she communicated with her eyes and bossed everyone who would let her.
Even though she was in pain, she would laugh it off and smile with that wonderful smile reaching her sparkling blue eyes. She was such a happy girl despite her health struggles. Every time she saw someone she knew; her eyes would light up and she would throw her arms out as if demanding a hug. She could be demanding about so many things, but no one thought to deny her if it was possible to give it to her.
She taught me to take pleasure in what many of us take for granted. She would laugh out loud at the sight of her own shadow. She loved taking a ride on a riding lawn mower. She would squeal with delight when on the Yosemite Sam or the Log ride at Six Flags. Some of our most joyous memories with her was our trip to Orlando, Florida. The Men in Black ride at Universal Studios was her favorite.
She enjoyed horseback riding, swimming, and watching action movies. Her favorite T.V. show was Walker Texas Ranger. As a matter of fact, she would watch any movie if it had Chuck Norris in it.
Close to the end some of her sparkle was missing. I denied it to myself, but I saw her slipping away and her death wasn’t really a surprise, but it was. I know she is in a better place. She is with her Papas, her daddy, and her namesake and now she is bossing all of them around.
Katy Mirtz-Myers is the graphics artist for The Henderson News. Her e-mail address is <graphics@thehendersonnews.com>. ©2021, Henderson Newspapers, Inc.
