Y’all are doing too much guys. 

This world is quickly become much too confused for me to justify the struggle it takes to be a part of it. With every passing controversy, I slip that much closer to living an episode of the History channel’s Mountain Men. Every mask or vaccine argument sends me spiraling into more plans for backwoods living and every new claim that your life matters in any way more than the next person’s hammers another post into my impenetrable fence in the forest. 

I’m blown away daily by new reports of the growing cancel culture. It’s gotten so bad that people have started canceling themselves before the masses even have a chance. 

You know things have gotten out of hand when the Dr. Suess brand and legacy becomes a target of their own cancellation. 

Hasbro quickly followed suit by dropping the Mr. from its age-old Mr. Potato Head toys. If anything should have triggered the cancel culture it should have been the spelling of Playskool because that k rides right on my nerves. 

We’ve become so soft and so easily offended as a nation and it’s pretty disgusting. 

It’s now offensive to determine the gender of a newborn? That can’t be serious, but it is. They need to be able to determine their own gender? No that’s physically not how it works people and who’s really going to let their kid run around name and genderless until they can determine what they want to be on their own? How does that even work? Get out of here with your Theybies. 

I get the troubling concept that some people feel they weren’t born in bodies that reflect their self-image but to think that should be projected on an entire generation of tiny human people is preposterous. 

Gender-specificity exists because, like it or not, genders are pretty specific. To quote actor Miko Hughes in Kindergarten Cop, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.” I’m sorry if that’s offensive but it is how anatomy works. You can make up all the new words you want to describe what it feels like to live in your skin but that doesn’t change your physiology. Behind all of your gender fluidity and binary, non-binary lies a fairly simple fact, boys have something and girls have something else. 

Just because your boy child plays with dolls or thinks it’s fun to play dress-up or your daughters would rather climb trees and play with dump trucks doesn’t mean anything about their future life choices and it certainly doesn’t reflect their sexuality. It means those things are fun to do because their little minds are innocent and full of wonder not that they should have been born in different skin because they don’t fit the gender roles that have been assigned by a society that you’re already fighting against. 

I don’t care that you’re gay or straight or bi or polyamorous. I don’t care enough about anyone else’s personal life to have an opinion on how you choose to live yours. There is no other person, apart from my Sasquatch baby of a husband, whose personal preference for a partner affects any portion of my day. I can’t for the life of me discern why more people don’t feel that way or why everyone thinks their personal choices need to be the focus of anybody else’s attention. 

Why did a Cadbury Creme Eggs commercial become an erotic adventure between a gay couple? That’s disgusting! Not the couple, you jerk, the egg. Gross! One person eating them is bad enough much less having to watch two people share one like it’s their darkest fantasy. Why is candy being sexualized? We’re a country full of fat people, do you really have to make candy sexual to sell it? 

I don’t believe you do but that’s the world we live in. 

Children’s toys secretly wear lingerie. A plastic potato with interchangeable facial features must be able to marry another plastic potato of the same gender. Dr. Seuss is racist. Jazz is a girl. You matter more than that guy because of the color of your skin. 

It’s all so self-centered, all so self-important, all so deeply annoying. 

There’s something wrong with the world today, I don’t know what it is. 

Something’s wrong with our eyes, we’re seeing things in a different way and God knows it ain’t His. 

You’re right Steven Tyler, we’re living on the edge! 

We are precariously balanced on the precipice of stupidity and slipping daily closer to the edge. We’ve lost a few to those murky depths and for them, I offer prayers and condolences. 

For the rest of you clambering aboard the Woke train, I’m afraid you’re too far gone to be brought back from the ledge but I will hold out hope for your safe return. 

There is something wrong with this world, though. 

Amber Lollar is the senior reporter for The Henderson News. Her e-mail address is <>.© 2021, Henderson Newspapers Inc.

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